Sunday, August 3, 2014

All My Cleansers and Die, Bastard! Die! and Cake

Please excuse the post title, but I really mean it.  DIE, BASTARD!  DIE!
Okay.  Look, by the time it takes two YEARS to finish a product, you want it to die and die faster.  DIE MORE FASTER YOU BASTARD; DIEEEEE!

I would say over the course of testing it over the very short two years, that I can confidently say, I really do not like this cleanser.

As a stand-alone cleanser, I found it didn't work well enough to break down my usual sunscreens and foundation and definitely couldn't handle my eye makeup.  I used it when I double cleansed when I accidentally got my hands and face a little wet prior to an oil cleanse (so hence poor emulsion) or if I used coconut oil to cleanse.  Towards the end, I was using GOBS of it just so I can finish it.  In addition to not being that effective when used alone, it also dried my skin out gradually as lots of cleansers do.

Will I buy this again?  *using my inside voice*  NOOOOOO!

I do have need in my cleansing rotation for a very gentle foaming cleanser, so a few weeks back, I purchased the Chantecaille Rice and Geranimum Foaming Cleanser.  Let me also show you all the other cleansers I have been using.

(L to R) 1) purity (die!), 2) CervaVe Hydrating Cleanser, 3) Chantecaille Rice and Geranium Foaming Cleanser, 4) Eve Lom Morning Time Cleanser, 5) Eve Lom Cleanser 6) Coconut Oil masquerading as an Eve Lom Cleanser 5) MUJI cleansing oil 6) Bioderma Sensibio Micellar Water.

Here are my brief takes on each:


  1. Philosophy Purity - see above for my deep and unending feelings about this JUG.
  2. CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser - is a very gentle non-foaming cleanser and seems close to the Cetaphil one.  This doesn't have the effectiveness to power off all the clown makeup and sunscreen I wear on a daily basis but is nice and soothing for a gentle cleanse in the morning.  I sometimes use this after using a cleansing oil.
  3. Chantecaille Rice and Geranium Foaming Cleanser - I don't generally like foaming cleansers which often dry my skin, but as I mentioned before, I need to have one around.  This sucker is very expensive, but a very small amount produces an embarrassing profusion of foam.  It is also slightly exfoliating but gentle.  So far no issues with it drying me out.  
  4. Eve Lom Morning Time Cleanser - is the "lite" version of the classic balm cleanser.  Has a slightly less gritty and a tad lighter consistency.  For some reason, it doesn't seem to work well at makeup removal, but as a morning cleanser it is super gentle and refreshing on my skin.  It is very scented and the weird smell takes some getting used to.  I love how there is no stripping and how incredibly soft my skin is after using this, all perfectly prepped for my morning slather of the clown face.
  5. Eve Lom Cleanser - is a balm type cleanser that is massaged onto dry skin and then emulsified with some water and wiped off with a muslin cloth.  I love the whole ritual of cleansing with this balm as well as the gentle physical exfoliation from the muslin cloth.  It does take time, so I tend to reserve this for the weekends or when I am wearing heavier than usual makeup.  It takes everything off very effectively and I never feel the need to cleanse again after this.
  6. Coconut Oil - I bought a large bottle of organic cold pressed coconut oil from Whole Foods.  My skin seems to really get along with coconut oil thankfully, and I love the scent.  The solid white oil very quickly melts into a clear liquid in my hands and on my skin and really melts all the makeup off.  It does leave an oily residue after being wiped off, so this is when a foaming cleanser is necessary for me.
  7. MUJI cleansing oil - YUCK!  I am determined to finish this thing.  There are two versions and I think this is the gentle version.  It's slightly thicker than my old discontinued Shu Uemura Premium A/O cleansing oil (green one).  I'm not sure if it is rancid or what, but has an off smell.  It never seems to emulsify well enough and I always need to double cleanse after this.
  8. Bioderma Sensibio Micellar Solution - another classic, but I find I don't use this very often.  I use this when I swatch for the blog to take all the swatches off my arm.  On occasion, I use this is an easy cleanser in the morning.  I have many backups of this!  Maybe too many.
Speaking of too many, holy crap!  Why do I have so many cleansers?  I am definitely in need of some streamlining here.

Annnnnd speaking of too much of too much, how does a cake with four sticks of butter in it sound to you?  Over the weekend, I reattempted making the Brooklyn Blackout Cake that I showed a while ago (here).  I took some corrective action from the last time I made it (lower oven with shorter cooking time, thicker pudding texture).  This time the cake came out as well as I could have hoped for.
It is chocolate (4 different kinds: semi-sweet, bittersweet, unsweetened and dutch process cocoa powder) on chocolate on chocolate.  Seems practice (and some crying) makes perfect, just like makeup application.  It looks rather like a shaggy dog with the crumb layer on top and it's hard to see the three layers of the pudding filling inside.
I am so skipping meals to justify eating this cake all week long.  It is a thing of beauty... chocolate wise.
OMFG.  CHOCOLATE CAKE, ALL DAY LONG.

Ever take on a recipe with blood sweat and tears and just KILL IT?  What did you make?  Share some recipes with me?

32 comments :

  1. Oh God, that cake, that cake, THAT CAKE!!!

    I hear you about Philisophy Purity Made Simple. I liked it in the beginning, but eventually found it a little too stripping. You know what it is REALLY good for tho? As a brush cleanser! Seriously, try to wash a foundation brush with that thing. You might be impressed (and it'll help you get rid of the bottle faster)!

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    1. I RUN RUN RUN home after work so that I can eat another slice of that cake!

      Oh you found it stripping over time, too! I'm done with this sucker. It's now in the recycling bin with al the rest of the plastics. :D HOORAY!

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  2. OMG Luv! DAT CAKE!!!!!!! I neeeed me a piece of eeet!!!

    Cleansers? I gotta few in rotation but I almost always reach for the micellar water of the moment which is usually enough for the makeup I wear. By the way I'm one of the rare ones who didn't like Bioderma. *hides* Been test dryving a The Face Shop foaming cleanser but it won't ve in my repurchase list. A few I've been really I mean really wanting to try are from Clarins. Thanks for the info on Eve Lom, been curious about those. Erm the Muji... seems you have some way to go to finish it... g'luck wi dat! :)

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    1. *shares slice with you*

      I think I always wear too much makeup to just do with micellar waters. :O( am clown. I am not a big fan of the face shop although the stores are fun to shop in.

      Seems like Clarins also has a nice balm cleanser. Maybe when I am done with one or 8 of these, I can give that one a try. I've been trying to use a big gob of the MUJI to finish using this up. :)

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  3. When can I come visit to see the Garden of Weeds and have a slice of that chocolicious cake? I remember trying a mini of Purity a couple years back, and I thought it was just ok as a second cleanse, nothing to rave about or repurchase. I also abhor Philosophy's shower gels, so my mediocre experience with those + Purity has just put me off the brand in general. I like the sound of the CeraVe cleanser from your review - I love their PM lotion!

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    1. Monika, you should come up and hang out! It's very green and weedy around here. That deer baby I posted earlier is much bigger and still comes around with his/her mom.

      Those shower gels are so heavily and sweetly scented it gives me a headache! The cerave is great if you like those really really gentle cleansers!

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  4. In my experience "foaming" is rarely "gentle" and very often drying. I have combo oily, sensitive acne prone skin and have found great success with the MAC green tea gel cleanser as well as the MAC Cleanse Off Oil...then I tried the Simple (Garnier) gel cleanser which was comparable to the MAC one. Recently (as in the last week, so a little too soon to give a full "all's clear" review) the Paula's Choice Skin Balancing cleanser has wowed me. I used to be a minimum two step (shu uemera ultim8 oil (also was my "bastard" - prefer MAC's) to break down and loosen up mascara, etc then cleanser to remove but often has to use bioderma to completely clean up the eyes stil) but this PC cleanser has taken EVERY TRACE from my face, including the eleventeen layers of mascara I usually put on along with tightlining. So far, incredibly impressed! I have to admit I've started buying more and more of my skin care needs from the PC line of products and I'm been very happy with the results (and cost) to date.

    I don't like chocolate cake. At all. Like, never ever tempted. But dayum, that looks delicious! Big glass of icy cold milk and a hunk of that cake would do the world some good :)

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    1. Hi Shannon, thank you so much for this great comment! Are those gel cleansers foaming too? And I agree, the stuff that makes cleansers foam are the stuff that are stripping in general. And purity really....eeeeeh... DIE BASTARD DIE! And thank you for letting us know about the ultim8 Shu! I was very curious about it when they released it but the extra-extra steep price made me hesitate. I recently got a hold of the new version of the green oil. I wonder how that one will be.

      I heard there are some really good products in the PC line and people are quite fans of the brand!

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  5. LOL your post cracked me up big time!! Gotta love your sense of humor!!! ;D

    Have you tried the Clinique Cleansing Balm? I wonder how if it's similar to the Eve Lom Cleanser. I have tried the Philosophy Purity and I, too, did not care for it that much. It's just an OK cleanser. It didn't do a thorough job at removing my makeup like my other cleansers.

    THAT CHOCOLATE CAKE OMG! Gimme!!! Look so lush!!

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    1. The Clinique is supposed to be excellent and really gentle! The Clinique I think is a solid balm that melts into oil and the Eve Lom is a thicker balm that loosens when rubbed into the skin, but not like an oil, imo. :) Maybe massaging the chocolate cake into my face, in the vicinity of my mouth will be the most effective cleanser of all. YUM!

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  6. I love Lancôme's oil cleanser. See if you can get a sample to try.

    Oh, that cake! It looks delicious!

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    1. Ah! THank you, Ava! I will try to snag a sample. I *think* I'm going to fully transition over to cococut oil. I just need to finish up the stupid Muji oil now. :)
      Next time you're in NY, we can share a slice of cake.

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    2. I'm so going to take you up on that!

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  7. SO MUCH CHOCOLATE!! I DIE OF DEHYDRATION FROM DROOOOLLZZZ!!

    I tried Philosophy way back in my Uni days, when it was the latest hype. Very underwhelmed and disappointed.

    You're gonna think I'm a freak, but I triple cleanse. Oil based makeup remover (used whenever I use SPF products) then micellar (may skip when lazy, but it's become habit) and then a soap/foam based cleanser.
    To counter the stripping-ness of foam cleansers, I add a good few drops of facial oil (whichever cheaper one I have that I'm eager to finish, and if I really want the oil used up, I also add it into my shower gel) into a huge blob of the cleanser cuz them basterdz gotta die!!

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    1. *tie a bib on you* Having eaten a few slices recently, I see this is a DANGEROUS cake to have around the house. And stupid man of the house doesn't have a sweet tooth so I have to finish this thing. I just HAVE to, you know? We can't let a perfectly good cake go to waste, you know. Rite?

      Wow! I try to not even double cleanse so triple cleanse! WOW! *runs finger over your face* So clean!

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  8. Snickered so much for the duration of this post because I know all too well what it's like to use gobs of something you hate because you can't just NOT use it up. Lol oh life.

    As a sidenote: I HATE Bioderma. There, I said it.

    As another sidenote: CAKE. CAAAAAAKE.

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    1. hahah! You hate Bioderma! LOL! I tasted it once by accident. It tastes FOUL... I thought you would like to know this.

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  9. I know well the DIE, PRODUCT, DIE feeling. Currently have it for a blush I've had for three years... :-)

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    1. *nods* I use up skincare products with great frequency...all except this purity cleanser. It just SAT big and TALL just mocking me. It was terrible.

      Why not... accidently drop that blush? *shatter* oops! All done!

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  10. Oh i know the feeling of why-wont-this-just-die-already?! I think i gave up trying to finish anything.... else i'll never be able to get any reviewing done! And nothing is a sweeter finish to it all, than a face full of chocolate CAKE!

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    1. Yes! With a contended sigh, I do declare, chocolate face is the sweetest finish of all!

      I just can't throw away skincare stuff for some reason! I have to finish it. I am also going to FINISH that muji oil.

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    2. i completely understand!!! I have a whole trolley of samples that i will never get around to using but i just cant throw!!!

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  11. Hmm, I wonder what is going on with your Muji cleansing oil - I have it too, and it works quite well for me. If anything, it's a bit too stripping, so I am currently using it mixed with a Shu cleansing oil that doesn't emulsify well enough. Or maybe I am confused and the Muji didn't emulsify and the Shu was stripping? Either way, mine definitely doesn't have a weird scent.

    Also, CHOCOLATE!

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    1. emi, do you remember which version of the muji oil you use? I don't know why mine is so iffy. It smells faintly rancid, that it is really offputting. Blech.

      :) CAKE!

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  12. OMGAWWWD...it was the most boring facial cleanser I had ever used in my entire life. Seriously. I forced myself to use it daily just so that I would use it up. In hindsight, I guess that was a good thing because it forced me into the habit of cleansing my face daily? Lol.

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    1. ha! getting into the habit of washing your face daily... like maybe even twice a day is a really good thing. right?

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  13. Yes, Belly, c'mon, where's the cake?? Don't just tease us, give us CAKE!!

    Thanks for the warning re. Muji oil. Didn't realize you also had that much hatred toward Purity.. what an evil wolf clothed in sheep's skin and a goody-two-shoes name, that cleanser is. If I have something like that, I would have used it as brush cleanser instead.

    Hmm.. so what did I make? Nothing, been busy working, but I'm going to make some carrot + zucchini + potato bread that supposedly healthy & sinful at the same time. I'll let you know how it goes..

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    1. oh! that bread sounds good! I can't wait to hear how it turns out, Claire. I am thinking about making a banana bread. I had a hard time typing banana. I just want to keep typing "nanananananana"

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  14. First, I think this is the best post title I've ever seen. Second, I read it all wrong: I thought you were talking about cleanses, not cleansers, and that "die, bastard! die!" referred to the end of the cleanse, after which you could eat cake. Or maybe it referred to the cake? Anyway, I was confused because you'd never seemed like the sort of person who believed in cleanses. Then I read the post and it all made sense.

    I've never owned more than two cleansers at a time (my current favorite is Lush's 9 to 5), but I've definitely eaten more than two kinds of cake at a time.

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    1. Like a colon cleanse, you mean? :DDD The only movements I care about is the type where I move my hand to mouth holding a fork with chocolate cake. <--- see, this is the accurate portrait of me.

      ...! You ate two different cakes...at the same time? Sounds...like..an orgy.

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    2. Haha, I meant a juice cleanse, the kind that requires you to abandon solid food. I get cranky whenever Into the Gloss interviews a model or actress who haaates bread and lives on green juice. Someday I'm going to snap and write a post that's just a deranged rant against the juicing trend and its aura of new-agey magical thinking...

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    3. Hahah! Like lemon juice with cayenne? God, I would be SOOOO cranky if I did one of those juice things. I would be a terrible person to be around. Even MORE terrible than usual.
      I am going to be diligently scouring my Bloglovin feed for your snap-rant post!! :)

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