Thursday, September 5, 2013

Getting Older

(I stole this post from Gummy on GummyVision.  It's ok, I told her I was going to steal it and she was all like, "whatever?!  Think up your own ideas?"  I think that was consent so we'll go with that.)

I noticed a bunch of stuff about myself (physically) which are related to getting older. 

The face shrinks and sinks in all the weird places:
I guess it's my face losing fat and collagen in the skin, but now my eyes are sunken and my cheeks are looking gaunt.  On a positive note, I can retain an extra 15 lbs or so on my body to maintain some youthful plumpness in my face.  (heard the saying, you face or your ass?  I choose face)  And oddly, which alarms me and touches me in a very deep way, I look more like my dad as I grow older.

Skin becomes dull (and then the zits):
I came out of my teenaged years relatively unscathed by acne, but noticed at some point in my thirties how sadly blah and dull my skin had gradually become.  I'm grateful for medical science and the prescription pad of my dermatologist for my tretinoin product (low concentration Retin-A micro, for the win!).  But now, I get occasional zits.  Oh hell.  I guess it's the flux of hormones and stuff.  Also, I don't think injectibles, filler or plastic surgery is in my future, but I also refuse to rule them out.  I don't mind help.  Makeup is help, too.

Diminishing mental acuity:
I forget stuff all the time.  Of course I can remember all the telephone numbers going back to when I was a small child (mom's work, home, bff's house, my house, my house all the moves, etc etc), lots of 80's trivia facts but my short term memory seems a little iffy.  I noticed this more since having children... wha...?  What are we talking about?

Going grey & hair weirdness:
I really admire a women with incredible head of well-coiffed silver hair.  So elegant.  But I'm not ready yet!  I'm seeing bright silvery hair at my temples and sparse distribution all over my head.  I'm obviously almost all black haired, but there's more white ones now.  Texture of my hair has gotten randomly crinkly!  And I don't have as much hair as I used to!

Ongoing and intensifying internal conflict about balance:
Where I used to reign as princess & queen of my domain, now I need to make sure my priorities also place my marriage and my children equally at the top.  Something about having this blog helps me keep myself as queen in some aspects, if that makes sense.  Whereby I was very career driven, pulling in late nights every night in the office, endless conference calls with folks in different time zones, I've become more something else altogether.  I don't have the right word to describe it, but it doesn't have the focus where nothing else used to matter.

Shifting sense of beauty:
Having grown up in the US, with formative years learning American beauty ideals I never grew up thinking about Asian beauty.  I grew up way before K-pop, or K-dramas were a cultural touchstone.  I grew up thinking beautiful women looked like Charlie's Angels women (the original t.v. show).  I have a much greater appreciation of Asian beauty now, despite my most Americanized values about lots of other things.  I hope my children grows up appreciating their uniquely ethnic and beautiful faces as much I appreciate theirs.

Speaking of Asian things:
Comfort and home is Korean food.  Every trip or vacation abroad or away from Korean food brings about a level of anxiety that builds into frenetic hunger.  My husband and I have resorted to packing instant noodles to help stave off this uncomfortable state.  My husband knows me and I know him.

Uh, yay 40?:

Panic panic.

My blog is sort of an internal monologue which appears to operate at an 4th grade reading level with the maturity of a 13 year old.  I appreciate all the poop jokes, lolcats and all internet cat memes.  I should be grown up but I don't feel grown up at all.  Each day feels like that moment of being released from the hospital after giving birth with the incredulous thought: they let me walk out of the hospital with a little helpless human being to take care of?!  When do I start feeling my age?

all the low-resolution to my advantage
Since this is a beauty blog, I'm wearing all sorts of makeup in the picture: RBR e/s duo in A is major FIS minor, Edward Bess Bed of Roses Blush and Suqqu Creamy Glow lipstick in 08 Keshiaka plus all sorts of poor resolution and soft focus.

How do you evolve with your age?  I'd love to hear how you became you.

36 comments :

  1. I have seen the post in Bloglovin, first thing the foto and I was like, "oh look at Belly and how hot she looks" then I noticed the title "getting older" and got confused. All I can say is that you look at your 20s here :-)
    About me getting older, well.... I don't cope up with it either, each year I feel like "oh my god, it can't be my age" but it doesn't help :-D
    But a rather bitter experience I had two years ago told me, there are people on this planet, who would give their everything to be able to get older. With this new perspective, I feel lucky to be able to get old and embrace each new white hair I was able to get.

    Again you look so beautiful in this pic, I should definitely order this eye shadow duo from RBR which is on my list for such a long time.
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :-* sweet Sara, thank for your lovely words. How would you like to me pay you the $50?
      I also am grateful for the time I have and getting older in many ways. I've learned so much and cherish this whole little existence of mine. On the other hand, I'm like: FECK! I'm how old?!

      Delete
  2. I entered my third decade with hormonal chin acne, melasma, thinner hair, and bad eyesight. My mother didn't wear glasses until her late forties, early fifties, and my siblings have perfect eyesight. So did I, until I was 18, but even though I had prescription glasses, I wore them only to the cinema and when I drove at night. It has worsened in the last couple of years, and this year, I will probably get contacts by Christmas. Asian face, Asian nose, Asian glasses slipping off nose when I simply breathe out.

    My eyelids are getting a bit crepe-ier, my face less full. The latter, I actually kind of appreciate, as you could've substituted my face with a pancake in all my photos until very recently. Nobody would've noticed, and I, least of all. >)

    I get dull aches more frequently.

    But I look my age. Being Asian, this could be considered a failure, but I have always been told that I look older back East and here in the West. When I was 15 and I babysat two kids at the beach, I was asked if they were mine. My first day in college, my American dorm mates thought I was a third year transfer. This in contrast to my older cousin, who was asked upon checking in a flight if she was a young child travelling alone... when she was 22. I would prefer to look younger, but I am okay with looking my age.

    I am less angry, less hurtful, and less sarcastic than I was in my twenties. I understand why I was that person, and this understanding brings a bit of peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate so much your honest words. And feeling comfortable to share in this public space. I notice a bit of mellowing as well. Do you think it's age related?

      I forgot to mention the aches and the eye sight thing, S! Small print is a problem as is reading in dim light! This is probably one thing that actually makes me feel old in a genuine way. I'm contemplating getting reading glasses, but the thought really bugs me!

      You have a beautiful elegance that may translate to some as maturity or age, but I will disagree with them. In my perspective looking very young for my age has been a hinderance professionally. It's hard to command attention when you look like a kid out of school most of the time.

      Delete
  3. You may steal my stuff anytime!! I can't believe you are 40, for one...and I can't believe you are 40 with hardly any grey hair. I can give you some of mine. Seriously I've got extras. Gah you are so right about the face shrinkin and sinkin...just last night I was looking at my less than plump eyelids (after reading unknown beauty blog's post on the anatomy of Asian eyes), and also wondering when the plump started leaving the rest of my face?

    I'm not there with the plastic surgery or enhancers yet either, but like you I'm not ruling them out. I don't want to eat my words later, because I've also seriously started considering getting some spots lasered or whatever they do to make them disappear and your skin tone even.

    Ooooh, the memory...what's nice to is that not only am I starting to forget, but even when I remember but would rather not fess up I can say, ooops sorry old age I forgot.

    Can you believe I've only ever had Korean food once?!!! I'm adopted so I didn't grow up with anything Korean, though my mom is part Hawaiian and my dad is part Philippino/Hawaiian so I did grow up eating lots of rice :-)

    Hey poop jokes are funny. Bodily functions in general are funny!! Are we supposed to feel our age? I dunno!! I sometimes cringe at the fact that I still saw 'awesome' and 'cool' at my age, though I actually say it a lot less than I used to...and c'mon sometimes words escape me (another joy of growing older) and awesome and cool are the best I can come up with.

    Thank you so much for posting this!!! I hope more bloggers do it! You are beautiful and I wuv you!!! xoxoxo :-) gummykins

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops...my whole point about bringing up the not having Korean food part is that I wish I had a craving for it and had more experience with where I came from. I love that you and your husband share the love of Korean food :-)

      Delete
    2. Gummykins,
      thanks for allowing me to pilfer your fabulous blog for a post idea. dude, my eyelids are getting finally a touch of the crepe, and not the yummy kind either. >:( Great thing about getting older (for me) is the plump leaving the face and making a permanent home on my rear end. It's like an amazing face to ass transplant minus any surgical pains or fees. It's uncredible!

      Hey, I had Korean food in Hawaii once in a fit of crazed homesickness. I really it more like saimin noodles and not really Korean food but it the spot for a little bit. We need to plan a makeup shopping + Korean food outing. And no barbeque either, I will plan on making sure you eat all the stinky fermented things! I'm hard core.

      <33

      Delete
    3. am mind discombobulated. I read what I wrote and I make no sense. :O

      Delete
    4. I thought it made sense!! YES let's go shopping and EATING...though maybe less shopping with your no buy :-) does the eating include donuts?? Hope so...might need it after all the stinky fermented stuff ha ha!

      Delete
  4. Thank you so much for this insightful post. I entered my 30s this year and have been struggling with a lot of upcoming changes which I know I can no longer avoid. As you so aptly described, I've been so used to 'reigning as queen of my domain', enjoying focusing on my career, hobbies and just my husband but I'm coming to the realisation that I can't put off starting a family any longer. I know I sound like a selfish princess but it is hard accepting the fact that my life will no longer be my own :( The thing that makes it particularly difficult is that this is the stage at which you're starting to see the fruits of all your years of hard work (study/working your way up) and then to know that you won't really get to enjoy wallowing it it for very long....

    On the physical side, I have noticed how crap my metabolism has become and the fat migration to my belly (lol previously was arms and honestly i don't know which is worse!). First gray hair experience had me wondering why the bathroom light was reflecting off my head and the the realisation dawned! :p

    The positives though are that I'm a lot less feisty and less quick to judge people/situations. Maybe wisdom really does come with age?? :p

    Anyways, I love the pic you took at end of the post (all you pics are gorgeous but especially that one!) and there is no way I would believe you are 40 from looking at that. xx Wen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My obgyn (in NYC) told me at the time (I was 32) that I am the youngest ob patient currently in her practice. Not that fertility doesn't decline, but I don't think you reach your 30's and then it drops off a cliff. At least from what I remember (with my bad memory) from what I read. Life is full of such conflict! I remember with my children preparing to go back to work after my dinky maternity leaves and just devastated at the thought of leaving them...but at the same time missing work and being productive in *that* way.

      At my fittest moment, I still had the underarm batwings! Now, I'm jiggly everywhere. At least there is makeup to make me happy. :) ah pretty makeup is such a happy thing for me. Thanks Wen for your lovely comment.

      Delete
  5. What a wonderful post. I'm also 40 (although about to turn 41... I'm planning on having a 1st birthday party for my 40th birthday...) and I have started to notice things that are different. I actually think I'd be quite fine going grey, except that I'm not. I have about 10% kind of "meh" grey hair and the rest is still naturally nondescript. I keep looking at my father's perfect silver-white and holding out hope that I'll get there. Beyond that, I just really don't feel my age, although my body is giving me signs. This past year, I've actually started developing signs of peri-menopause: hot flashes and weight gain that was very different (i.e., in different places) than I'd had before. I'd like to think I'm too young for that, but apparently, no. It can happen.

    And I think that you look just ridiculously beautiful in that photo. Any woman would want to look like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay for our 40's! It's funny what's ok for you intellectually and the difference in how you feel when you actually get there! Gosh Kate, the body changing so much is pretty miraculous and a bit scary for me all at once: the waning eye sight, the mysterious aches/pains, the odd weight gain. And peri-menopause: I'm going to pretend it's just really hot in the room. P.S. Have a wonderful celebration. for my 40th, I went to a bar and partied... sort of like my 21st birthday!

      Delete
  6. Sing it, sistah!! I've been thinking a lot about my age, too, 40s is looming on me as well. I have to mull over a bit about this. But yes, I haven't felt my age yet, heck, as far as I know I'm still 15. Maybe I'm in denial, who knows. And for me, what's worse than feeling "Oh gosh, they entrust me with this helpless little baby!!!" is looking at the Toddler, munching on a used ice cream wrapper from the ground, and looking the mom next to me at the playground, with three, wonderfully and appropriately playing children, and think "Gosh, she must be SO wise, so experienced, and LOOKED so young!" You don't look your age, so don't start acting your age. Keep looking gorgeous, one day at a time -- we are who we are.
    P.S. I think I may be a Korean in my past life: I craved Kimchi when I was pregnant and I didn't even grew up with that stuff!!! That and I gravitate towards all things Asian.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surprisingly, turning 40 wasn't all that different from turning 30 or turning 12! :D Although it seems like you dont' get to celebrate your birthday as often with cake and ice cream. (this makes me very angry. until I realize I'm old enough to buy my own slice of cake and ice cream)
      LOL! ToddlerLorp munching on a piece of paper from the ground. Toddlers are so so strange. I'm sure that mother goes home and finds her kids have smeared diaper poop all over the walls. *true story*
      Kimchi, nectar of the gods, the really really smelly gods.

      Delete
    2. Right? Someone asked me the other day, "Did you do anything special for your 30th b'day?" Now, this was a loong time ago for me, I honestly don't remember, I think I must have done something special, but it really came and went just like another birthday.
      Again, massive congrats on the big 40. I secretly think Asians are blessed to look forever 25 regardless of age. So glad to have meet you & your blog here, love every single posts & keep on posting!! Here's some cake and ice cream for you.

      Delete
  7. Whaaaa? You are 40? I'm so surprised, and that's even after internally adjusting for your being Asian (you know how it is... look young forever, and then overnight you become a wrinkled little raisin woman). Wow. Wow!!!

    Great post / interesting read for me. I'm a little worried though. I was seriously hoping the "Am I grown up yet?" thought would eventually go away... but you're telling me you still have those thoughts? I IZ DOOMED.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that funny little cartoon. all of a sudden *BOOM MENOPAUSE* iz tiny little old lady.
      I'm going to stay stupidly immature the rest of my life. It's ok. Join me. We'll hold hands and tell fart jokes. Going to be so much fun!

      Delete
  8. I am hot on your heels and feel the same way - never change- love how your crazy mind works. I'm staring at your luscious locks and am thinking you have nothing to worry about!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay for approaching 40, Jo! I used to have a really thick pony tail and now it is very skimpy. Sad. But happily I seem to grow hair in weird places now to do my age, like my chin, my nostrils and my ears. Good times! ;)

      Delete
  9. I discovered your blog a few months ago and been meaning to drop a few lines to say how much I like it -- I like your sense of humor, honesty and general take on things (b/c after a while, many beauty blogs all sound similar to me !) . And this post is as good a time as any for me to drop a line. Well, 40 was many years ago for me, though I'm not yet in my 50s. Not to sound like a jerk, but I've always taken my skin, looks etc for granted, and it was only in the last year that, looking at myself, I was like --omg, now I understand why women get a little shot of youth and a little nip and tuck here there! Not going that route yet, or maybe ever, but even the thought of it was new to me. A bit humbling I suppose. i really do think though that women, at least most of the ones I know, are most beautiful in their late 30s. But since I can't go back, there's always healthy living, and exercising -- best way to look and feel youthful, and strategically placed makeup of course And heck, spending more on makeup not b/c it's all that much better, but just because. Well, congrats on turning 40, And hope you keep on having fun w/this blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anon! Your lovely comment made my evening! thank you so much. I barely washed my face in my twenties and really a slick of bight lipstick was pretty much enough. I've become way more concerned with cosmetics/my ever-changing appearance in my thirties. All the little droopiness (I'm sure only visible to me) I would love to stick a needle into it and make it perk right up. ...Hmm, still not there yet though. Spent this evening with my older daughter going through a picture album from when I was in my late teens and early twenties...boy, this aging! it is hitting me like bricks. I also enjoyed the little outdated, very un-digital activity of looking at real photographs. Thank goodness for makeup, and thank goodness for kind readers! And thank goodness for our 40s.

      Delete
  10. You are supergorgeous indeed and I love the way you wear your makeup soft & dewy.

    I have similar issues with pimples: I sometimes think I have a neo-puberty phase that somehow prevents some wrinkles (or that 'preventing' might be wishful thinking).

    I'm so glad you learn to embrace the idea of Asian and Korean beauty. I am a Western Caucasian and even for us it is almost like "it's never enough" (you always have to be blonder, skinnier, bigger boobs, more fake smiles) so that problem is among 'us' too. Ageing doesn't mean you can always ignore those strong voices embedded in media etc, but you can say "well, other versions of beauty (Korean/Asian/other ethnicities) are strong and gorgeous too. I hope younger girls could live with this too instead of all getting similar faces & hairs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have very strong features that I generally like my makeup all sludgy and smudgy. :) Thanks for your kind compliment, birkie! For all standards of beauty, Western or Asian, it is never possible to attain. I just made peace with the fact that I'll never look like Farrah Fawcett. :D

      Delete
  11. Compared to all you young whippersnappers, I am of the mesozoic [sp?] vintage.

    Eh, it's not so bad. I must be one of the few women around who feels prettier now than I did when I was younger. I think it's partly that I've found my style, and it also helps just not to give a shit what other people think any more.

    Also, yoga. Seriously. I probably wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning if I didn't do a pretty rigorous yoga practice. And hey, it's good enough for Madonna, right?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, and I forgot! You are so freaking gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. L.P., I've contemplated starting yoga for a very long time. I'm so low energy and high inertia I'm not sure I will ever start. I'm pleased to report that at age 40, I'm finally learning to ride a bicycle. Maybe going up and down the hills in my neighborhood will help me attain a better level of fitness and energy.

      Delete
  13. I'm 69 and like L.P., I actually feel more beautiful now than I did when I was a young woman. Yes, I have less hair, my skin has lost some elasticity, and I have "senior moments", but what does that really have to do with true beauty? I exercise regularly, have kept my weight down, eat a healthy vegan diet, enjoy a vibrant social life, have many interests, and am at peace with myself and with life. Come hell or high water, I'm determined to approach life with two of the greatest beauty boosters--joy and confidence.

    I am certainly not without vanity. I use a prescription strength retinoic acid product, have Botox injections in my glabella (between the eyebrows) every four months, and an IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) treatment every six months to keep my mild rosacea under control. The bonus is that IPL also targets those pesky little brown spots and the redness caused by surface capillaries.

    I have let my long hair go grey and do my best to keep it looking shiny and healthy rather than witchy, but when the desert Santa Ana winds blow through Southern California, I look a bit like a wild woman! LOL. I also keep my makeup and wardrobe updated. My motto is fashionable without being foolish, stylish without being silly, and trendy without trying too hard. I'm actually quite happy being 69 and look forward to being 70 :-). There are some things I wish I could change. I still have daily hot flashes (20 years and counting!) and I have severe arthritis in both hands. When I think about the problems that other people much younger than I have; however, I think I've been very lucky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eileen,
      I love your voice in all your comments across the blogs. You speak with the joy and confidence you've built up and I feel energized to hear it. (hear on the blogs, that is) You are singular and remarkable, and I'm so excited to see your comment on my blog.
      xoxo

      Delete
  14. thumbs up! I love that you did this. the first line made me laugh haha. AlSO YOU LOOK SO PRETTY :) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I made her "share" her good idea. Our Gummykins is the best. :DD

      Delete
  15. Damn, lady. You can't post a pic like that and tell people you're 40. Beautiful! What zits and grey hairs??

    The face shrinking and doing weird things - YES. I'm five years behind you but I swear my face keeps changing every few years. I don't know what to do about it so I just buy more makeup to slap on.

    Short-term memory loss - alarming but perfectly normal. I recently attended an aging and memory loss seminar and was relieved to find out that's just a people thing. People losing their marbles thing would be you forgetting your children's names. Yesterday I had to learn names of 25 strangers and can only remember 3 today. Normal!

    Nothing's better than piping hot spicy ramen at 1am.

    And I hear we all fake the grown up thing. Total relief. Would be scary if we had to be grown up for real!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liz, thanks for this comment. I'm also really psyched that many of us are faking "grown up ness." What a relief, totally!

      LOL at the 3 names. Well, sometimes I call my children by their sibling's name, but as I recall, my parents did this as well. Sometimes, my sister calls me by her husband's name. I call my husband by my (now deceased) cat's name. Good grief.

      Delete
  16. Belly! I just discovered your blog!
    You look so gorgeous here! I can only hope that nineteen years from now (when I am also forty) I can be as beautiful as you are! In fact, I'll take how you look now over how I look now :P
    I had a similar moment "growing up" when I noticed little sunken marks under my cheekbones towards the end of my high school years. I was worried that my lost baby fat made me look sunken and...skeleton like? Fast forward a few years from then, I now embrace the way they look and enjoy what I now call "more pronounced cheekbones" LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aksaiyo! *waves waves waves*
      You have a nice long way still to enjoy yourself until you are my age! I think cheekbones are a nice return for carrying all the face baby fat! THen you start to look womanly and all that sexy stuff. <3

      Delete

I would love to know what you think! What say you?

Feel free to link to your own or other blogs posts that are relevant to our discussion here. That is always encouraged. I love finding new great blogs to read! Relevant is the key word here! I reserve right to delete!

But for all our sake, no promotions or referrals to your blogsales, swaps, contests and the like.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...