Sunday, June 2, 2013

Garden Envy

Last fall my family and I moved to the suburbs and as it was fall, we enjoyed the turning autumn foliage and did not give the landscaping much thought.  This spring, I was in a mood to plant some new things so at Costco picked up an assortment bag of deer-resistant plants and some peony cuttings.

(Let's preface that I'm an inner-city girl through and through.  The only green I grew up with were the trees on the sidewalk and an occasional trip to a concrete playground.  I kill plants like it's my life mission.  The plant below was given as a housewarming present by a relative.   See all the dried leaves and flowers? I don't even know what this plant is.  Am I supposed to water this thing?  Good thing butterflies don't care how I take care of plants.)

I Kill Things:
Bet you didn't know beauty bloggers are cold hearted killers.
Water it?  What?
Bad things happened.  First of all, after planting, I kept no record of what the plants were and I didn't mark where I planted.  As the days got warmer and adorable little sproutlings came up, I had no idea if they were weeds or what I planted!

Weed or What I Planted?!  Or is it stuff the previous homeowner planted?!

Are clovers weeds?  Anyway: CUTE.

Adding more insult to more injury, the peonies I've planted are sort of going all dead-like.  Most of them.

See, DEAD.

Poison Ivy?
And then things that look suspiciously like poison ivy all over the place!

And look at my sad lilac bush.  It made two bunches of flower and then went like this:

Garden Envy:
Heaping even more insult to injury, my next door neighbor has the most glorious gardens and landscaping.  What's her secret?  She's a retired botanist.  Time to switch Belly career to botany.

Can you help me identify the weeds?  Help me?


  1. Keep trying- rome was not built in a day! maybe talk to the plants.........

    1. I heard it does- but considering my garden is a wasteland maybe not the best person to ask!

    2. I think I will need to have a chat with my neighbor to get some advice. My lawn and plantings look terrible! D:

      Wasteland?! Stop giving me "talk to the plants" advice! People are going to walk by and think I'm crazy. "who's a good baby plant? who is a good. good. plant?"

    3. We are already crazy baby! both sporting our yellow Soda Lunch yellow like we think we are out of some manga comic!
      just go with it.......

    4. smearing yellow all over. I'm feeling good, feeling fine!

  2. HAHAHA I planted veggie 3 months ago. Half of them dead. A quarter of them never grow. The buds pushed the ground but that's about it. So the hubby comes to rescue by remixing the soil and now we can serve some. I think the plants are weeds. As we're speaking now we're battling with similar stuff. They'll get grounded up next week ;;)

    1. My kids' school have a small garden where they plant fruits and vegetables and it is growing like nobody's business (big ripe strawberries, leaf vegetables, etc). And these are first graders.

      Seriously, some people have the touch (first graders, your husband, my botanist neighbor) and some people have the killing touch (you/me). :)

  3. You're in the northeast, right? Get a gardening book about your area at Home Depot. Learn your yard--what faces north, south, east, west? Is there shade? do you have a sprinkler system? Realize that gardening is a painful slog and extremely labor intensive. Peonies aren't for the first timer. Your neighbor is RETIRED and has all the live-long day to weed, mow, plant and fertilize while you go to work.
    My advice? Get super low maintenance evergreens like holly bushes and hire a yard service for the summer. Pour/spray Miracle-Gro everywhere in the summer. The first graders have science teachers holding their hands! Don'r get down on yourself. We've all killed plants. It's nature, it can't be controlled, we're only here to watch it do its thing!!!

    1. Hi toughdoc. I was reading your blog and enjoying your no-nonsense writing! :)

      Gardening is backbreaking work. I will need to hire staff (or bribe my children) to help. I think I do need some more basic education to figure some more things out. Sigh. I have such long-held dreams about beautiful peony blossoms. My neighbors in general have these incredible blossoms of peonies and other things all over their yard! ARGH!

      I did buy some Miracle-Gro the other day and feeding these sad plants (including these suspected weeds).

      Thank you for your funny and helpful advise. I'm going to go buy some makeup and make myself feel better.

    2. Awesome! Makeup makes everything better! ;-)

    3. toughdoc,
      yesterday what I thought was a weed started to bloom! It's calla lily! :)
      better than makeup and so cheery and pretty!

  4. I don't even have a garden, I just have pot plants on my balcony :( Only thing that grows is mint and basil.

    I killed my succulent plant by leaving it out in the rain, it drowned and died a horrible death.

    1. Ooh, you killed that guy! D:

      I JUST killed my basil plant. I can't grow anything!

  5. hahahah this sounds like me! Although 2 summers ago the fiance and i tried to plant a veggie garden and we had a frost in april and most of it died. :(


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